I went to church and....

did not spontaneously combust!!! Until last night, I had not been in a church for, well, I really don't remember the last time. The last time I went on a regular basis I was in high school, which was in the late 80s. Lately, I have thought a lot about my own spirituality and how that impacts my little girl. My husband is decidedly not religious, and considers himself agnostic (I think being the son of a minister may have something to do with that). When I was younger I was very involved in church and considered myself very religious. After I went away to college, I had a crisis of faith, and started to question a lot of what I had previously believed. My second major in college was Religious Studies so I did a lot of studying about a lot of different religions which just added to my confusion. I visited a lot of churches and became very disillusioned with organized religions as a whole, and decided my own individual spirituality was more important than whether or not I went to any particular church. But now, I really miss the community and fellowship that being a part of a church family can provide, and I really don't want Lanie to miss out on that opportunity either.

SO, that brings me to last night. My parents and sister had decided to go to a Christmas Eve service at a local Lutheran church (which is the religion my mother was raised with in Norway). I decided to go with them and take Lanie. Luckily it was a family service designed for people with children because Lanie was not real sure of just how to behave in a church service! So, other than having to chase her around and try to keep her quiet, I really enjoyed the service. There weren't a lot of people there, so it was an intimate service, and I got a chance to speak with many of those there. I have always liked smaller churches better and this definitely fit that bill. Now, I don't think I will start going to church every week, but it is making me think more about it.

It is nice to know that I can still enter a church and not be struck by lightning!

Why??

That is the word I hear the most from my very inquisitive two year old these days. She will ask you something and when you answer her she asks, "Why?" And then when you give her another answer, yes, she again asks, "Why?" It is never ending, and most of the time ends with me saying, "because I said so!" I now know why that phrase is a part of every parent's repertoire, because otherwise you would never end the onslaught of WHYS!!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

We went and got our Christmas tree today! Actually, we got two trees; one 8 foot tree for downstairs in the living room, and one little 4 foot tree for upstairs in the game room. The little one was initially supposed to be put on the window seat in the game room so it would be visible from outside, but the seat ended up being too narrow so my husband put it on the pub table up there instead. Now I just have to pull out all of the decorations and get them up! This is the earliest I have EVER had my Christmas tree. We are usually the ones out looking for a tree on the last weekend before Christmas when all the nice trees are gone, so you end up with the pitiful Charlie Brown Christmas tree. I mean, you get a good deal usually that way, but rarely if ever do you get a really nice looking tree.

Lanie is very excited about Christmas this year, and it is so fun to watch her looking at the decorations and lights everywhere. We've asked her what she wants for Christmas , but she thankfully hasn't been bit yet by the whole retail bug. I could stand for that to stay away for many more years. So, unfortunately for her, she has a mother who is a teacher, and most of the things that I have gotten for her are educational toys. I think she will like them, and have fun with them, but sometimes I think she might have more fun with something that isn't a learning toy. Oh well, I guess she will just have to deal with it!

I have most of my Christmas shopping done, and now mostly have to get gifts for people far away. I am dreading having to send packages so I think I may just do some online shopping to take care of those. Gotta love the internet! Of course that won't take care of the Christmas cards I need to send but I will just have to try and get those done in the next week or so. I'd actually like to make sure they get mailed out this year, unlike last year! Well, I probably ought to get to my decorating and card writing instead of just rambling on here! I hope everyone is having a good holiday season so far!

I'm back... and no longer in a funk....

I know it has been a while since I last posted. Things have been a little crazy around here and between computer issues and just not having a whole lot of time, I just haven't been blogging.

This month, my husband and I celebrated our 7th anniversary and were able to get away for a couple of days to Vegas. We got out of there with a little more money than we arrived with so that was a bonus! We got back the Tuesday night before Thanksgiving, so the two days after were spent running around getting the stuff to make Thanksgiving dinner, then making the dinner, and eating the dinner! It was a lot of work, but it turned out pretty well, if I do say so myself!

Work has been pretty good, except I have discovered first hand that my boss is a heartless b***h who thinks she is perfect. It's a long story, but I ended up having to call my teacher's association to help me with the situation she has created. Actually, one thing that happened with her is kind of funny, and revealing at the same time. The other day she brought me a memo to attach to paperwork I had to turn in at the admin building (a note to cover her a**), and in it she repeatedly referred to me as Kellie Anderson. When I looked it over and then told her that she had mistakenly put my name as Kellie Anderson, she looked at me, and said, "Your name isn't Kellie?" I absolutely did not know what to say. The woman doesn't even know my last name, and that is the name we go by as teachers!! We have been in school for 4 MONTHS, and she hasn't managed to remember the names of her staff. Now, I don't know all the names of the teachers there, but I AM NOT the PRINCIPAL! And, to boot, there isn't even a Mrs. Anderson at the school, so it isn't as if she confused my name with another teacher! So, she can't remember my name, but there is no way that she misplaced a form, or forgot seeing it! No, she could never have done that!

Sorry for the rant, but it is so frustrating. Up until this week, I didn't really have any complaints about her, but had heard a lot from other people, so now I am experiencing it first hand and I do not like it at all.

I still like my class, my assistant is awesome, so if I can just avoid my principal for the rest of the year, things should be great!

In a funk...

I'm not sure why, but I am really in a funk today. I am generally a very happy, smiley person, but not today. I can't say that things are going badly, thereby causing the funk, because they aren't. And I am still taking my happy pills so it isn't that either. I guess some of it is that I am not especially happy with myself right now. I feel like there are so many things in my life that I could be doing so much better at, but I can't muster up the motivation to put forth the effort required. I am my own worst enemy. I hold myself back so I don't fail or get hurt, but then I just ending up hurting myself because it makes me feel this way. Then I feel like a failure. It's a no win situation. I know some of the things that cause me to act the way I do, but it doesn't seem to help me from repeating the same pattern. I feel like I need to do something drastic to start any change, but the thought of that scares me. I feel stuck. Maybe that's just the funk talking, and maybe tomorrow I will be back to my happy self... at least I hope I will.

"That's a pyramid"

That is what my 2 year old said when she looked at the dollar bill that her grandpa gave her today. I knew she knew her basic shapes, you know, a circle, square, triangle, and maybe even a rectangle. But a pyramid??? Not sure at all where she picked that up.

Must be perfect...

Some of you who have seen my house on a normal day may not believe this, but I am a perfectionist. The problem with my kind of perfectionism is that if I don't think I can get it totally PERFECT then I generally just don't try at all. This is something that has happened my whole life. When I was in school, I got by without studying much and made decent grades. Could I have made better grades if I tried? Probably, but then there was also the chance that I could put forth all that effort and still not get any better grades. Now, as I have grown up, this same mentality seems to prevail when it comes to maintaining my house, or pretty much anything to be quite honest. I think I worry so much that all of the effort would be in vain that I just decide not to try. It affects everything and everyone in my life and cause some significant problems in my relationships. Now, I am pretty good at getting things done in a pinch at the last minute, which makes me a procrastinator as well, but I end up staying up all night to do something that could be done in just a few minutes everyday. That is what I am going to start trying to do. I am going to start with babysteps, and hopefully I can get my home and my head more organized so that I can better enjoy my life. I certainly don't want to pass along my bad habits to my daughter, and so for her and myself I definitely want to make this work and get past some of my problems with perfectionism.

Belief and Faith

In my blog reading over the past week there have been a lot of posts and comments about having faith or not when thinking about all the bad things that happen to good people. This is something that I have thought about a lot but have no answer for. Growing up, I was very active in the church I attended until my senior year of high school. I went to college and studied religions as my second major. It really made me look at things more critically without taking into account faith. I know a lot of highly intelligent people who despite being knowledgeable about history and science still have very strong faith and are very religious. I myself have not really been able to reconcile the two. I would consider myself at this point in my life to be more spiritual than religious, and I do believe that there is something beyond just this world. I guess that is what gets me through a lot of days when this life just seems so hard to deal with. It isn't really rational, but I guess that is what having faith is all about. Not looking at the rational, and instead just going with your gut and sometimes just believing in whatever gets you through your days.

I sometimes wonder if I am doing my daughter a disservice by not taking her to church. Just because I have a problem with most organized religions, should I impose that prejudice on her. I want her to make her own choices in life and find her own faith, but how easy will that be without some religious foundation. My mother brought my sister and I to Sunday School at a Lutheran church when we were yougn, although she herself did not attend. Should I do something like that for Lanie? I do miss the community and fellowship that you find in a church, but think it would be hypocritical for me to attend just for those things. It is something that I really have no idea about what I should do, but it weighs heavily on me that I may not be doing the best thing for my daughter.

This post has kind of rambled on and not really answered anything, but instead posed more questions for me to ponder. That's OK because questioning things kees us thinking and moving forward in what hopefully will be a positive direction.

I wish I could sleep for 12 hours

So, yesterday when I picked up my daughter from my parents house, she was asleep on the couchand had been since about 5:30 when she finally conked out after refusing to nap all afternoon. Moving her to the car did not wake her up. Maving her from the car into the house did not wake her up. I even attempted to put her down because she seemed half awake, and she merely walked over the nearest couch and crawled up and went back to sleep. Me moving her to yet another couch and then up into bed did not wake her. She slept until 5:30 this morning! She kind of woke up very briefly in the middle of the night once, and went immediately back to sleep after I remedied the blanket issue she was having. I know she doesn't get this ability to sleep that long from me, so it must come from her father who could sleep for days if I let him. I love watching her sleep, but after being at work all day I cherish the few hours I have to play with her and hang out with her BEFORE she goes to sleep! Oh well, it was just one night, and today she was back to taking her nap as usual.

Going to the State Fair!

Since I have today off, and we were given free tickets at school, I am taking Lanie and my parents to the fair today! I can already smell the Fletcher's Corny Dogs!

Who Are You?

I was looking through the hits on my blog and came across one that has my curiosity peaked. I like to look at the referrals page to see how people find my blog. I'm always amazed at what word combinations will lead someone to get to me with a google search. Well, yesterday someone found my blog by searching on the words "Kellie", "Dallas", and "Democrat." For those that don't know me, I was very involved in Democratic politics in Dallas back in the early 90s, so it would seem someone might have actually been looking for me. If so, and you come back to my blog, let me know who you are. I love catching up with old friends and think its great that my blog might lead someone to find me!

Computer Woes

So, a couple of weeks ago, I started having trouble with my eMac. It spontaneously shut down, and acted like it was going to restart and then wouldn't get to the login screen. It has not worked since. My darling husband is a master computer geek, so he finally got down to trying to fix it yesterday and has had little success. Fortunately he was able to get all of my pictures and documents off of it before he wiped the hard drive, but even doing that has not remedied the issue. He even braved Fry's yesterday because it looked like it might be a problem with the memory, but no go with that either. So now I have to bring it in to the Apple Store and see if they can diagnose the problem without us having to spend an arm and a leg. If it can't be fixed I WILL be getting a laptop! Right now, I am having to use his eMac to check e-mail, read blogs, etc., but I really want my own computer back! Hopefully when mine is fixed or I get a new one, I will be able to post some of the pictures I have been meaning to post.

Well, I am off to watch some football... GO COWBOYS!!!!!!

Blogger beta! Finally!

So here is my blog now in the beta Blogger! The invitation to switch it over appeared on my dashboard this morning and I transferred it over when I got home this evening. I haven't really looked at all the new features but look forward to playing around with it sometime soon! So for those that complained about not being able to comment because I was on the old blogger, here it is... comment away!

My daughter amazes me in so many ways....

Right now, the way that she is amazing me the most is how well she is swimming. The last 2 weeks of June, I put Lanie in swim lessons, just to start getting her to know some of the basics and for safety reasons. With us having our own pool in the backyard, I was so worried about her being safe around it and in it. Now, she swims like a fish... and s probably better in the water than I am. I have some extreme phobias of putting my head underwater, so the only way I swim is with my head above water. Not Lanie though, she dives in on one side of the pool, swims across to the beach entry with her head underwater the whole time and then gets herself out! It amazes me and pretty much everyone who sees her swimming. I am so happy that she is so comfortable in the water. We went swimming yesterday, and the water was a bit chillier than it had been over the summer. I had to get in slowly, but Lanie just jumped right in. She is definitely a little water baby. She wants to go swimming all the time. Every day she will ask us at least once if we will go swimming with her. Now that it is getting cooler, I wonder how she is going to handle not being able to swim all the time. We have a spa as part of our pool, so there is a heater connected to the whole system, and we have actually considered heating the pool every so often through the off season, so we can all go swimming, but especially for Lanie. I need to find a place around here with an indoor pool, but the only one I know of around here is sooo expensive! Would probably be worth it though!

Stressed Out

Well, this week has been pretty stressful and I am so glad the weekend is here! My husband came back from his business trip last night, and we were so glad to have him home! I am sure just that in and of itself will reduce my stress level significantly. The other thing that has me stressed big time right now is my blood pressure. And, yes, I know that being stressed about it is probably just making it worse, but it is hard not to worry about it. Earlier this summer my doctor gave me samples of a medication to help lower my blood pressure. I took them and they helped, but, being the procratinator that I am, I didn't get back in to see her to get the prescription. Well, earlier this week I took my blood pressure and it was 143/91.... not good at all! So, I made it in to see my doc yesterday and got more samples AND the prescription to send in to be filled. Between the medication and losing weight, I hope I can get it to come down to where it needs to be. I hate the fact that at the age of 35 I am having to take all of these medications and I worry about not being around for my daughter. I just have to keep working on my diet and hope that it will help.

9/11

You can't really go anywhere right now without hearing about the tragedy that befell our country on 9/11/01. I remember that day so clearly, which is amazing because I remember very little from the past with this much clarity. I was traveling down I-35W in Fort Worth, getting close to downtown when the radio station I was listening to told us of breaking news about the first plane hitting one of the World Trade Center towers. Of course, at that time no one had any idea that it was just the beginning of many tragedies that would occur that day. And no one knew that this was just the beginning of a huge terrorist attack on our country. I immediately got on the phone to my parents because I thought they would want to turn on the TV to see what was happening. I was in my 1st year of teaching, and this particular week I was in training. I arrived at the training location just a few minutes after the 1st news report had been made, and just in time to see the news coverage of the 2nd plane flying into the other tower. My colleagues and I stood and watched this tragedy unfold before our eyes. I remember that one of the women there was immediately concerned because her father was scheduled on an American flight from the East Coast that morning and she couldn't get a hold of him to make sure he was alright. (Fortunately, he was on another flight that morning.) The trainers, despite all that was going on, did try to move forward with our training, even thought I think everyone there wanted to see what was happening in NYC. On every break, and throughout the lunch hour, most of us were there with the TV on taking in all of the information being given to us and wondering what the future was going to bring. We watched in horror as the towers fell, and prayed for all those who hadn't escaped. Later in the day, the superintendent sent word that all staff were to return to their individual campuses to help handle things in their own classes. Parents were coming to the schools to take their children home early and there was a lot of confusion, so everyone was needed to make sure things stayed as normal and calm for the children as possible. I don't really think my students understood the magnitude of what happened that day. I'm not even sure if I fully comprehend all of the ramifications of what happened that day. What I do know is that I cried. I didn't know anyone who died in this tragedy, but I cried for each and every one of them and their families.

Several weeks ago, I heard an ad on the radio for the new movie about that day, and something that was said triggered the same emotions I felt 5 years ago, and , again, I found myself in tears as I was driving. Sometimes it amazes me, how something that is so far removed from your personal life can so deeply move you.

Toady, on this 5th anniversary of that tragic day, I want to remember all those who perished and their families. I want them to know that they are still in our thoughts and that they will always be remembered.

He really isn't all that bad....

Most of the time when I talk to my close friends about my husband it is usually to bitch about him. Well, this past week has made me see a lot more of the good things he does and I think it's about time I give him the credit he deserves. They say you don't know what you have until it's gone, well it's true, even if they are only gone for a week! The things I really missed this past week were his cooking, as I mentioned in my last post, and the things he does with our daughter. I sometimes complain that he doesn't do enough with her, but he really does do a lot. Every evening that he is home, he is the one who gives her her bath, and gets her ready for bed. It is part of her evening ritual, and we both really miss that when he is gone. She loves it when he goes swimming with her, and I know she misses that too when he is gone. He also is probably better than me when it comes to consistency with discipline, which is an area I need to work on, but I really appreciate that quality in him. The other day, our little one was talking back to me (mostly just repeating something she has heard others say, but nonetheless it was talking back and disrespectful), and he immediately made it clear to her that it was not OK, and appropriately disciplined her. It actually made me feel good, because it was just one of those times that he was showing his respect for me by making sure that she isn't disrespectful to me. I could go on, but all I really wanted to do with this post is put down in words what has beenin my thoughts all week.

And, now, of course, he has to go away again for the next week!

Weekly Weigh In

Well, I thought I had a pretty bad week, diet wise, but it ended up being pretty good. This morning I weighed in 3 pounds less than last week for a total of 25 pounds lost since I started on South Beach! This week was rough mostly because my husband was out of town. He usually cooks dinners for us, and is good about making it something I can eat and still be following my diet. Well, with him gone, and me working late, I just was too tired to cook and ended up doing some fast food stops this week, and, well, let's just say I didn't stick to the salads. Anyway, he's going to be out of town for the next week, so I am just going to have to plan things better so that I can stick with my diet even if he isn't here to cook for us.

Going crazy

This week has been so hectic. My darling husband is out of town on business for the whole week in Fort Lauderdale (he sure has a rough life, doesn't he?), and this is the week that everyone in the school district decided we had to go to trainings every day after school. By the time I pick up the little one and get home, I am just wiped out! I sure have to give lots of kudos to the women out there who do it alone everyday because I am not sure I could do this long term. Anyway, I need to go get ready for what is sure to be another crazy day!

South Beach Diet

So, I have been doing the South Beach Diet now on and off for the last month. It hasn't been as hard to follow as I thought it would be and I have lost 22 pounds so far. Granted I have a lot to lose, but I am really happy with that considering we had a housewarming party and I went to New Orleans during that time. I am telling you now that there is absolutely no way to stick with a diet while in New Orleans. The beignets, cafe au lait, and pralines were too hard to resist!

So, to help me hopefully do even better, I am going to start posting my loses (or gains) once a week on my blog. If I put it in print for all the world to see it will keep me more likely to stick with it.

This past week I lost 2 pounds!

Left Out...

That's kind of how I am feeling these days. It is hard being the new person again, having to deal with a whole new set of co-workers again, and feeling like I just don't fit in. I should be used to it by now but it doesn't seem to ever get any easier. Growing up, my sister was the one who always had the "cool" friends, and I was always the outsider. Then in college, I went to a university where you weren't "in" unless you were in a sorority, and yeah, you guessed right, I was NOT in a sorority. I've never really had the tight knit group of friends that I always thought would be great to have. Now, don't get me wrong, I have some really great friends, but they are all pretty independent from one another, not people to go on group outings with. And bouncing from one school to another doesn't help this feeling of being left out at all. No matter where it is, it is always hard to be the new kid on the block, especially when you feel like you never fit in anywhere in the first place.

Oh well, I know it will get better, but right now it just really sucks.

What the *&*^&^%#^????

OK, I added the Google AdSense bar to my blog a little while back and up until recently it had been putting up ads for the thing I had done to my eyes. I figure if I name the procedure those will come up again. Well, anyway, today I check out my blog and there are ads for drug and alcohol rehab centers!!! I think I made one reference to "partying" in my last post and that is what pops up!?!?! That is the only thing I could find that could remotely have triggered the placement of those ads. Wonder what would happen if I made reference to Orgies!!!!! Well, I guess we'll see!

Procrastinating

Here I am posting on my blog when I should be finishing getting my house ready so that the housekeeper can come and clean it tomorrow. It just seems wrong to have to "clean" your house so the housekeeper can clean it! We are having our housewarming party on Saturday, so I have to de-clutter (which was supposed to get done over the summer), so I can have someone come and clean before Saturday. So, now my office is stacked with the boxes from all over the house that haven't been unpacked, or that got filled with stuff from around the house. My office will definitely be off limits area on the house tour! Eventually my office is to be my scrapbooking haven, but it certainly is no haven now. Oh well, I better get back to it. I hope some of you are out there actually getting some rest.... or partying your tail off in Dubai!

New Job, Part 2

So I have made it through my first three days of school, and I am still alive. It is really good that I have an assistant who has been there for years and really likes what she does. We are still in the process of having to sort through everything that was in the room, and me trying to get curriculum organized so I can figure out what to use with each student, The students have a variety of disabilities and ability levels so it will be a juggling act to find the right thing to use with each of them. I ended up with 10 students, which is quite a load for this type of class, but it seems to be going well. We are still trying to get a schedule in place which is what most of these kids really need, a set routine to follow. I really do like these kids. They all are very lovable and I can see why all the people who work with them keep telling me that I will like it. I'm going to do my best and give it a couple months before I decide if I am going to try and switch positions at mid year. Who knows I really might end up liking it here.

New job

Well I have spent this past week trying to get ready to start the new school year in my new position. I haven't had a lot of time actually in my classroom to try and get things ready for Monday, so I am a little stressed out about that, but overall am a lot less stressed than I had been. The staff at my new school seems friendly enough, but of course when I saw everyone from my last school today I couldn't help but wish that I was sitting over with them this year. It will just take a while to get adjusted. It was so different last year when I started at a new school, because I was actually excited to be there and I had left such a bad situation that I knew it really couldn't be any worse. Then I had such a great year there and then to find out I was being transferred, not because of something I did or because they didn't want me there, but just because of factors out of my control. There must be some reason for this, but I haven't figured it out yet. So many things have changed in the past 6 months. A new house, new job, close friend moving to the other side of the globe; sometimes it just seems so overwhelming to deal with so much change.

It's 3:30 in the morning....

and I am up for two reasons. My little girl woke up around midnight, crawled out of her crib and came into our bed. Well, about half an hour ago, my dh asked if I could return her to her room, which I obliged. His back has been hurting and he has been tossing, turning, and moaning all night, which is probably the main reason I am awake. I tried to get him to take a pain killer and a muscle relaxant, but, would he take them???? noooooooooo..... Why is it that men who will use every kind of electronic technology and the latest and greatest gadgets will not use medical technology to their advantage?!?!?! See, if I am in pain, and know that a couple of pills will reduce my pain and let me sleep, I am all for it. I choose not to suffer. I just don't get it. Any insights out there for me?????

Lacking Motivation

Here I am sitting at my computer typing this post when I should be at my old school packing up so I can move all my teaching crap that I won't be able to use in my new position to my new school, which I have never been to, and frankly at this point wish I would never see! I am having such a hard time getting into the right frame of mind to start this new job. I just want to go back to my old school with all of my friends there instead of being the new teacher again! I did that last year, and don't want to do it again! And then there is the issue of the class I will be teaching. It is sooo out of my comfort level, and not anything I ever wanted to teach at all. But these kids really do deserve someone who wants to be there which makes it even more frustrating that the Special Ed department would place someone there that absolutely does not want to be there. I have done the self contained class before with a different population of students, but hated it! I was sooo happy last year and now am going into this school year with a sense of dread. I know, I know... you say, why don't you quit, do something else for a year. Well, I've looked at my options, and can't see that any of them are much better. Substituting doesn't bring in enough money, which we need for our new house payment and expenses (last month's electric bill was $600!!!!!). I could go back and work for the state, but I was probably more miserable doing that before and I would lose my summers and other vacation time off, which is the prime reason I became and remane a teacher. The time with my daughter this summer has been awesome and I don't want to give that up. So, I will do what I always do. I will try to be postiive and do what I have to do to get by for the next year. I just needed to vent......

Wanna go hang gliding?

I recently decided that I really want to go hang gliding. It kind of came on all of a sudden and is probably some kind of mid life thing, but I have this strong desire to hang glide. I think part of it is that I have always had these dreams where I am flying over places, just gliding from place to place. I'm not sure why it has all of a sudden turned into this strong desire to do this now, but I just can't seem to get it out of my mind. My husband is just glad I have an interest that doesn't involve this computer or the TV!

We're home!

Well, me and my little one spent the last week in Sacramento, CA visiting the in-laws. We had a good time, but really foudn that 5 days there just isn't enough time. With everyone having to work during the weekdays, having only evenings and the weekend didn't leave a lot of time for visiting. And, I really wanted to make a trip up to Lake Tahoe, and that didn't happen, so maybe next time.

Lanie was awesome as usual all week. She was seeing a lot of people that she doesn't see very often and wasn't getting to take her regular naps, but was really pretty good all week.

Now, I have less than a week until school starts and I am dreading it since it looks like I am stuck in a position that I absolutely do not want. All I can say is that I will suck it up and do it for a year, but then I am out of there!

Anyway, I am about to collapse, so I will say goodnight!

Having underwater tea parties!

Well, yesterday we had some friend's over for barbecue and swimming. Since I couldn't go in the pool, our friend, Mindy, was kind enough to keep Lanie occupied. Since we have been able to use the pool, we have been working with Lanie on the skills she had learned in her swim lessons, one of which was going underwater to "see the fishies." Well, she has pretty much across the board said no every time we have asked if she wanted to go underwater or go see the fishies. She would talk about it before going out to the pool, but then when we got out there she would adamantly say no. Well, yesterday, Mindy was playing with her and told her they were going to have an underwater tea party and she got Lanie to put her head underwater all on her own! What a proud mommy moment that was for me. It's especially so for me because I myself won't put my head under water due to some pretty severe phobias (that, yes, I am trying to overcome considering I now have a pool in my backyard).

Truly Amazing!

Well, I officially am a member of the LASIK fan club. It is truly amazing to me that I can now see as well as I ever could with glasses or contacts... maybe even a little better! I highly recommend it to anyone who is considering haveing it done. Just make sure you pick a good Laser Center to do it.

"I can see clearly now... " almost!

Well, I had the LASIK done yesterday and it went really well. It really is a pretty quick and painless procedure. Just a little discomfort/pressure when they are cutting the flap with the laser. It was a little freaky to smell the burning though when they are doing the actual correction. So, yesterday I did my best to get all the drops in my eyes as instructed, and I was amazed at how much I could already see. It still is a bit hazy, which they say will go away as the swelling reduces, but at my follow-up this morning I could read the line on the eyechart for 20/20 vision with my left eye! I actually drove without contacts or glasses for the first time in my life! I really wish I had done this a long time ago. I am sitting here typing this and reading things on my computer and amazed that just yesterday morning I couldn't have done it without my glasses or contacts. I know, I know... I sound like an ad for LASIK, but it really is amazing!

Now, my little one wasn't too pleased with me yesterday after the procedure because I was trying to lie down and close my eyes as I had been instructed. She kept wanting me to read to her and play with her, and threw fits when I couldn't. ANd lately it seems that I am the only one she will be happy for. I left her with her daddy for a little while the other night to go fill a prescription and her said she threw a fit the entire time I was gone. I'm just hoping she'll get over it quickly when I go back to school in a few weeks!

Can't wait to see 20/20... I hope!

I had my pre-procedure examination yesterday for my LASIK surgery scheduled for Friday. They said everything looks good and that I am a good candidate for the surgery. The doctor seemed very optimistic and said he thinks I should have a good result. Of course, they also give you this document that is several pages long outlining all of the things that could go wrong ans make you watch a video that goes over all of them as well. I know it is basically to cover their asses, but it does make me a little nervous! Anyway, hopefully by Sunday I will have much improved vision and can throw out all the contact lense solution and related items!

You know you're getting old......

..... when you have to create a form to track when you have taken your medications because in the evening you can't remember what it is you took in the morning! I'm 35 and I feel like I am falling apart. I have some unknown injury to my foot that is taking months to heal (hard to heal when you have to use it every day). It did feel better after sitting in the spa for a while last night, so I may just have to do that some more! I have an appointment this week for Lasik surgery and I am really excited! I can't wait to not have to wear glasses or contacts anymore! The doc did say that eventually we all have to deal with wearing reading glasses, but that it is very possible that they will have a way to treat that by the time it hits me! I also have an appointment this week with an endocriniologist to try and get some treatment for my PCOS. My biggest worry there is that he is going to say I am diabetic already. There is a history of diabetes in my family and PCOS is considered a pre-diabetic condition. Hopefully, he will be able to get me going in the right direction to start controlling some of the things that the PCOS throws out of whack.

I never thought that at 35 I would still feel so young mentally but so old physically.

I know... it's been a while....

...... and a lot of things have changed!

Where to start? I guess the biggest change has been our move into the new house and the very recent completion of the swimming pool (which I have a very hard time keeping Lanie out of!). I am enjoying the new house, but still have way tooo much stuff to still unpack and get organized. It's a bit overwhelming and in my ususal procrastinating manner, little has actually been accomplished in the weeks since I got out of school. While I have done a lot in that time and have been dealing with an injured foot, I really have no excuse as to why we aren't more settled in. I need to work on that, and try to get some motivation.

On the work side, the district is trying to move me to a different school. I was so happy at my job this past year, and I feel like they are trying to take that away. I know it's nothing personal against me, it's just that the numbers in the program at my school are a lot less thatn what is needed to have two teachers. I still can't help but feel like I'm being punished somehow. I have to just start hoping that either another position comes available at my school, or that they find me a position that I will love just as much at another school. Trying to follow the whole things happen for a reason philosophy I guess.

The bright spot in my life, as usual, is my beautiful little girl. I have been having a blast with her this summer, spending a lot of time at our community pool and now in out own pool! We had Cassy and Rylee staying with us for a couple weeks, and really enjoyed getting to spend time with them before they left on their big adventure! Lanie and I are going to miss the hell out of those two!

That's pretty much life in a nutshell at this time. I can't promise that I am going to keep this thing up, but I'll give it a try!