In a funk...

I'm not sure why, but I am really in a funk today. I am generally a very happy, smiley person, but not today. I can't say that things are going badly, thereby causing the funk, because they aren't. And I am still taking my happy pills so it isn't that either. I guess some of it is that I am not especially happy with myself right now. I feel like there are so many things in my life that I could be doing so much better at, but I can't muster up the motivation to put forth the effort required. I am my own worst enemy. I hold myself back so I don't fail or get hurt, but then I just ending up hurting myself because it makes me feel this way. Then I feel like a failure. It's a no win situation. I know some of the things that cause me to act the way I do, but it doesn't seem to help me from repeating the same pattern. I feel like I need to do something drastic to start any change, but the thought of that scares me. I feel stuck. Maybe that's just the funk talking, and maybe tomorrow I will be back to my happy self... at least I hope I will.