Tomorrow IS Another Day

Tony Romo is funny!

2008-02-10T16:02:00.000-08:00

My daughter said the funniest thing this evening and I just had to post it!

Conversation heard while eating dinner and watching the Pro Bowl:

DD: Do you know who I like in this football game?

DH: Who do you like in this football game?

DD: Tony Romo.

DH: Why do you like Tony Romo?

DD: Because he's funny.

DH: Why is he funny?

DD: Because he loses the ball.

And anyone who is a Cowboys fan, that has led to heartache for the last two seasons in the playoffs!

What I want....

2007-12-03T07:24:00.000-08:00

After six and a half years in the public school system, I am officially fed up. I sit here, feeling overwhelmed because of all the darn paperwork required of us and I just want to scream. Why can't it just be about teaching these kids!?! So after much thought I have decided what I want to do, but I am just not sure how to go about doing it. I would LOVE to work with special needs children in their homes as a private teacher. I know there must be families out there that do not want their child or children in public school who would hire a qualified special education teacher to provide instruction in their home. I've been thinking about this for a while now and last week actually met someone who is doing just this. For her, the position fell into her lap, and so far I have not had any luck finding any angency that does these kinds of placements so I am beginning to formulate a plan to market myself in hopes of finding this kind of position. Any ideas anyone has would be appreciated! Wish me luck!

I know.... I am a lousy blogger

2007-12-02T18:44:00.000-08:00

Ok, so it's been 5 months or something like that since the last time I posted. Guess I really haven't had much to say. I have been pretty busy, with DH gone pretty much every week for work, leaving me to manage the household issues and take care of Lanie, which is a full time gig all by itself! Lanie is having fun with her preschool, swim lessons, and dance classes, which also keeps me running around a lot!

We had our annual family pictures taken today, courtesy of Katie and I can't wait to see how they all turned out! She sent me one great picture of Lanie, so I thought I would share it here:

Isn't she cute!?!?!

Keeping busy

2007-07-19T23:12:00.000-07:00

We have been keeping busy here in Alesund. We have been visiting relatives, enjoying the sites, and just enjoying some restful time as well! We are staying at my cousin's apartment, which is right in the central part of town, very convenient to pretty much everything. I am getting a lot of walking in, since my mother's apartment is a little farther out of town and we go out there at least once a day. We don't have access to a car so we either have to walk to get places or use the buses, which run frequently and get you pretty much anywhere you want to go. It's so different from what we are used to back home.

Our trip

2007-07-15T14:33:00.000-07:00

July 4-5, 2007

After our stay in the Flagship Lounge in Chicago, it was off to London. We flew in a 777 and the business class seats are about the size of first class seats in smaller planes. It was pretty comfortable and Lanie fell asleep before they even got us our dinner. She slept the whole flight until I attempted to wake her for some breakfast. That didn’t work too well, so it was probably only about a half hour before landing when she actually woke up. We had a few hours in London, most of which were spent walking across Heathrow Airport! Word of advice; if you ever have to fly through Heathrow make sure you wear your walking shoes and that you have at least a 2 hour layover if you have to make a connection! We made it to the British Airways Lounge and they had a children’s room with a TV and toys which kept Lanie occupied with her Mormor, while her aunt and I took a look around the airport shops. At first look, the prices seem great, but then when you have to double them (it’s about $2 to 1 pound), then it’s not such a good deal! Finally, our flight time came and we got on our 3rd flight of the trip. Again, Lanie slept pretty much the whole flight. We arrived in Oslo, and had to deal with passport control and customs, so we had to collect our luggage. It is neat here in Norway with the Duty Free shop because they have one right in the baggage claim area, and with your incoming international boarding pass you can take advantage of it. So we did a little shopping there while we waited for our bags. We then sailed through customs and made our way to the SAS desk to check our bags in for our final flight to Aalesund. Unfortunately, they are the only airline flying into Aalesund and because they are not a partner with American Airlines or British Airways they don’t care that we were traveling internationally, and only give us the domestic baggage allowance. With a little re-arranging we managed to get everything checked without any charges for additional luggage, unlike on our trip in 2005. We had a few hours layover in Oslo, but after dealing with customs, rechecking bags, and getting Lanie something to eat (polser, of course) we didn’t have too much time left before we were able to board the plane. Unlike the other flights, Lanie was wide awake for this one, while I was so tired that I had a hard time keeping my eyes open! Of course, Lanie helped make sure I did!

Once we got in to Aalesund, we collected our bags. After I had gotten all of the bags off the conveyor belt I went to get the carts and my backpack (which had all of my money, passports, etc), and it was missing! I was about to come completely unglued, thinking someone had stolen it, when we saw Lanie standing by the conveyor belt which was still going around (at one point the items enter through a opening in the wall, and go around into another opening). She was grinning and at that moment I saw my backpack coming out the other side! Lanie thought it would be fun to put Mommy’s backpack on the conveyor belt and watch it go around! Needless to say, I was relieved and infuriated all at the same time! After that, we made our way out of the terminal and to the bus that took us into the city (the airport is on one of the many islands around Aalesund, and the bus has to go through tunnels that go under the sea to get from island to island). The bus stops right near my cousin’s apartment, where Lanie and I will be staying for our time here. She came down to help with our luggage and we finally were able just to relax a bit after a very long trip!

We made it!

2007-07-05T12:40:00.000-07:00

After 4 flights and 25 hours later we finally made it to Alesund! The trip went fairly well, but I am really tired. Lanie slept on the first 3 flights so right now she is pretty wired. It is almost 10 pm here and still very light out. It won't even start getting dusky until about 2 am. Hopefully that won't keep Lanie from sleeping because I know I need some sleep! I was pretty happy with how Lanie id on the trip. She only had one fairly major meltdown in Oslo, after already having been on 3 flights, and she wasn't too loud on any of the flights. It's always nice when your kid isn't the one bothering everyone on the plane!

Anyway, I am going to try and get some sleep here soon, so I will post more later!

Off to Norway!

2007-07-04T16:32:00.000-07:00

Well, we are on our way to Norway! We left today out of DFW at 1:00 p.m. and will get to my mother's hometown, Alesund, tomorrow around 8 pm local time. It will take over 24 hours of traveling! So far, Lanie is doing well, but the wait here in Chicago is annoying her quite a bit. She just wants to get on the plane! She slept most of the way to Chicago, but didn't get as long of a nap as she usually does so I would have to say she is a bit on the cranky side, but overall doing very well. We are spending our 5 hour layover in Chicago in the Flagship Lounge which is for First Class travelers (no, we are not in first class, but my mother and sister are, so we were able to come in as their guest. It is a nice place to wait but a bit on the snobbish side. We were told when we came in that we would need to make sure we kept Lanie quiet or we would have to leave! They do have food and adult beverages so we'll put up with the snobbery! It is very nice having two other people here helping keep Lanie occupied, especially when she won't listen to me she will usually listen to one of them!

Anyway, I will post again when I have an internet connection and when I start taking some pictures I will get them posted as well!

Birthday Party Pictures!

2007-06-02T09:58:00.001-07:00

The birthday girl before the party begins!

Outside playing with bubbles.

In the swimming pool with Kikishell! The kids had a blast in the pool and the weather cooperated.

Time to blow out the candles! (And, yes, those are partylite votives because I was unable to locate the #3 candle I had purchased, which was later located in the pantry!0

And then it was time to open presents.

After the party, we went to the Texas Rangers game, where Lanie made her jumbotron debut!

Long time no post....

2007-06-01T05:40:00.000-07:00

This spring has been crazy! It seems I have been going non stop since Spring Break. We had a lot of fun at Sea World for Spring Break. Lanie loved seeing Shamu and playing in the water. Then shortly after Spring Break I was wrapped up with Lanie's 3rd birthday festivities. Katie (katieskrew.blogspot.com) made the most beautiful invitations for the party which was themed "Under the Sea." The whole party turned out great and the mermaid cake I made was a big hit. After all that was done, then I was busy with getting ready for the end of the school year and all that entails. Well, this past Tuesday was my last day of school, and I now have time to try and catch up with the almost 1000 e-mails in my inbox (most of which are spam!). Most of all, I am looking forward to all the fun things we have planned for the summer, including our trip to Norway! I am going to try and post some pictures from Spring Break and Lanie's birthday later today or tomorrow and will try once again to be better about posting on this here blog!

Almost there....

2007-03-06T06:42:00.000-08:00

Well, it is almost time for Spring Break!! Only 4 more school days and I will have 9 glorious days at home with my little girl. My husband has to leave Sunday for training so he will be gone most of the time which is disappointing but we will deal with it the best way we know how.... by taking a road trip! Me and the little one are going to go to San Antonio for a few days to spend time with friends of ours and go to Sea World! It will be Lanie's first time in an amusement park of any kind and I think she will love it. I'm also just looking forward to having some time in my house to try and de-clutter a bit. Lately, between work and working out all the time I have had very little time at home for anything. I really want to get all of my scrapbooking stuff organized so I can start putting together albums of all the great things we have been doing.

On another subject, I have been doing pretty well with my weight loss and have lost 22 pounds so far since January! I may not win the little contest we have going on at school, but I still think I am doing great.

So cool.....

2007-02-27T09:51:00.000-08:00

Well, I seem to have found a back door to Blogger from school. Not sure how long it will last, but while it does, I will probably have more frequent posts!

I am very proud of myself right now. In the last two months, I have lost 20 pounds and am working out at least 5-6 times each week (if not every day). It is keeping me very busy and I have been neglecting some of my friends, so if you are one of those neglected people, please know I'm still here, still love you, and will try to do better at keeping in touch! Between work, working out, spending time with my daughter and husband, and just trying to keep my head above water with housework, it leaves me with absolutely no time! I'll figure out a balance sometime soon I hope.

Anyway, my break is over, so I better run!

Whew...

2007-02-26T14:52:00.000-08:00

Well, it took a while but I finally finished updating my daughter's blog and picture gallery. I have uploaded all of the pictures to the gallery through January and even did a little update of the past few months on her blog. So, for those of you interested you can head over there and see pictures of the most adorable little girl in the world!

Happy Birthday to Me!

2007-02-24T16:50:00.000-08:00

Well, today is my 36th birthday. It hasn't been the best of birthdays, but it can always be worse. My little girl is sick and we spent 3 hours at the urgent care, and since she is sick we had to cancel the sitter and stay home tonight instead of going our for dinner and a movie. But we did pick up a pizza on the way home and are watching a movie at home, so it's not so bad. My husband even mentioned us going out next week instead, so all is not lost.

I hope everyone else is having a great day!

Pictures

2007-01-20T07:38:00.000-08:00

Here are a few pictures from the trip:

A family snowmobiling portrait... maybe next year's Christmas card?

Our whole group.

It was absolutely beautiful in Taos! The picture doesn't do it justice.

Snowmobiling!

2007-01-20T07:21:00.000-08:00

Last weekend we took a road trip to New Mexico with some friends of ours to go snowmobiling in Taos. It was a blast! The long drive there and back with two children under the age of 5 was definitely worth it. Actually, both girls did really well the whole trip; I just wish Lanie would have napped better. The place she seemed to nap the best was on the snowmobile!
This picture was taken at the end of the tour, and she was just wiped out. She had been riding with her daddy, who said it was a bit difficult to maneuver the snowmobile with 35 pounds of dead weight in front of him!

I went to church and....

2006-12-25T19:20:00.000-08:00

did not spontaneously combust!!! Until last night, I had not been in a church for, well, I really don't remember the last time. The last time I went on a regular basis I was in high school, which was in the late 80s. Lately, I have thought a lot about my own spirituality and how that impacts my little girl. My husband is decidedly not religious, and considers himself agnostic (I think being the son of a minister may have something to do with that). When I was younger I was very involved in church and considered myself very religious. After I went away to college, I had a crisis of faith, and started to question a lot of what I had previously believed. My second major in college was Religious Studies so I did a lot of studying about a lot of different religions which just added to my confusion. I visited a lot of churches and became very disillusioned with organized religions as a whole, and decided my own individual spirituality was more important than whether or not I went to any particular church. But now, I really miss the community and fellowship that being a part of a church family can provide, and I really don't want Lanie to miss out on that opportunity either.

SO, that brings me to last night. My parents and sister had decided to go to a Christmas Eve service at a local Lutheran church (which is the religion my mother was raised with in Norway). I decided to go with them and take Lanie. Luckily it was a family service designed for people with children because Lanie was not real sure of just how to behave in a church service! So, other than having to chase her around and try to keep her quiet, I really enjoyed the service. There weren't a lot of people there, so it was an intimate service, and I got a chance to speak with many of those there. I have always liked smaller churches better and this definitely fit that bill. Now, I don't think I will start going to church every week, but it is making me think more about it.

It is nice to know that I can still enter a church and not be struck by lightning!

Why??

2006-12-10T11:32:00.000-08:00

That is the word I hear the most from my very inquisitive two year old these days. She will ask you something and when you answer her she asks, "Why?" And then when you give her another answer, yes, she again asks, "Why?" It is never ending, and most of the time ends with me saying, "because I said so!" I now know why that phrase is a part of every parent's repertoire, because otherwise you would never end the onslaught of WHYS!!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

2006-12-03T15:21:00.000-08:00

We went and got our Christmas tree today! Actually, we got two trees; one 8 foot tree for downstairs in the living room, and one little 4 foot tree for upstairs in the game room. The little one was initially supposed to be put on the window seat in the game room so it would be visible from outside, but the seat ended up being too narrow so my husband put it on the pub table up there instead. Now I just have to pull out all of the decorations and get them up! This is the earliest I have EVER had my Christmas tree. We are usually the ones out looking for a tree on the last weekend before Christmas when all the nice trees are gone, so you end up with the pitiful Charlie Brown Christmas tree. I mean, you get a good deal usually that way, but rarely if ever do you get a really nice looking tree.

Lanie is very excited about Christmas this year, and it is so fun to watch her looking at the decorations and lights everywhere. We've asked her what she wants for Christmas , but she thankfully hasn't been bit yet by the whole retail bug. I could stand for that to stay away for many more years. So, unfortunately for her, she has a mother who is a teacher, and most of the things that I have gotten for her are educational toys. I think she will like them, and have fun with them, but sometimes I think she might have more fun with something that isn't a learning toy. Oh well, I guess she will just have to deal with it!

I have most of my Christmas shopping done, and now mostly have to get gifts for people far away. I am dreading having to send packages so I think I may just do some online shopping to take care of those. Gotta love the internet! Of course that won't take care of the Christmas cards I need to send but I will just have to try and get those done in the next week or so. I'd actually like to make sure they get mailed out this year, unlike last year! Well, I probably ought to get to my decorating and card writing instead of just rambling on here! I hope everyone is having a good holiday season so far!

I'm back... and no longer in a funk....

2006-11-28T18:41:00.000-08:00

I know it has been a while since I last posted. Things have been a little crazy around here and between computer issues and just not having a whole lot of time, I just haven't been blogging.

This month, my husband and I celebrated our 7th anniversary and were able to get away for a couple of days to Vegas. We got out of there with a little more money than we arrived with so that was a bonus! We got back the Tuesday night before Thanksgiving, so the two days after were spent running around getting the stuff to make Thanksgiving dinner, then making the dinner, and eating the dinner! It was a lot of work, but it turned out pretty well, if I do say so myself!

Work has been pretty good, except I have discovered first hand that my boss is a heartless b***h who thinks she is perfect. It's a long story, but I ended up having to call my teacher's association to help me with the situation she has created. Actually, one thing that happened with her is kind of funny, and revealing at the same time. The other day she brought me a memo to attach to paperwork I had to turn in at the admin building (a note to cover her a**), and in it she repeatedly referred to me as Kellie Anderson. When I looked it over and then told her that she had mistakenly put my name as Kellie Anderson, she looked at me, and said, "Your name isn't Kellie?" I absolutely did not know what to say. The woman doesn't even know my last name, and that is the name we go by as teachers!! We have been in school for 4 MONTHS, and she hasn't managed to remember the names of her staff. Now, I don't know all the names of the teachers there, but I AM NOT the PRINCIPAL! And, to boot, there isn't even a Mrs. Anderson at the school, so it isn't as if she confused my name with another teacher! So, she can't remember my name, but there is no way that she misplaced a form, or forgot seeing it! No, she could never have done that!

Sorry for the rant, but it is so frustrating. Up until this week, I didn't really have any complaints about her, but had heard a lot from other people, so now I am experiencing it first hand and I do not like it at all.

I still like my class, my assistant is awesome, so if I can just avoid my principal for the rest of the year, things should be great!

In a funk...

2006-10-20T16:28:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure why, but I am really in a funk today. I am generally a very happy, smiley person, but not today. I can't say that things are going badly, thereby causing the funk, because they aren't. And I am still taking my happy pills so it isn't that either. I guess some of it is that I am not especially happy with myself right now. I feel like there are so many things in my life that I could be doing so much better at, but I can't muster up the motivation to put forth the effort required. I am my own worst enemy. I hold myself back so I don't fail or get hurt, but then I just ending up hurting myself because it makes me feel this way. Then I feel like a failure. It's a no win situation. I know some of the things that cause me to act the way I do, but it doesn't seem to help me from repeating the same pattern. I feel like I need to do something drastic to start any change, but the thought of that scares me. I feel stuck. Maybe that's just the funk talking, and maybe tomorrow I will be back to my happy self... at least I hope I will.

"That's a pyramid"

2006-10-18T19:12:00.000-07:00

That is what my 2 year old said when she looked at the dollar bill that her grandpa gave her today. I knew she knew her basic shapes, you know, a circle, square, triangle, and maybe even a rectangle. But a pyramid??? Not sure at all where she picked that up.

Must be perfect...

2006-10-16T19:31:00.000-07:00

Some of you who have seen my house on a normal day may not believe this, but I am a perfectionist. The problem with my kind of perfectionism is that if I don't think I can get it totally PERFECT then I generally just don't try at all. This is something that has happened my whole life. When I was in school, I got by without studying much and made decent grades. Could I have made better grades if I tried? Probably, but then there was also the chance that I could put forth all that effort and still not get any better grades. Now, as I have grown up, this same mentality seems to prevail when it comes to maintaining my house, or pretty much anything to be quite honest. I think I worry so much that all of the effort would be in vain that I just decide not to try. It affects everything and everyone in my life and cause some significant problems in my relationships. Now, I am pretty good at getting things done in a pinch at the last minute, which makes me a procrastinator as well, but I end up staying up all night to do something that could be done in just a few minutes everyday. That is what I am going to start trying to do. I am going to start with babysteps, and hopefully I can get my home and my head more organized so that I can better enjoy my life. I certainly don't want to pass along my bad habits to my daughter, and so for her and myself I definitely want to make this work and get past some of my problems with perfectionism.

Belief and Faith

2006-10-13T15:46:00.000-07:00

In my blog reading over the past week there have been a lot of posts and comments about having faith or not when thinking about all the bad things that happen to good people. This is something that I have thought about a lot but have no answer for. Growing up, I was very active in the church I attended until my senior year of high school. I went to college and studied religions as my second major. It really made me look at things more critically without taking into account faith. I know a lot of highly intelligent people who despite being knowledgeable about history and science still have very strong faith and are very religious. I myself have not really been able to reconcile the two. I would consider myself at this point in my life to be more spiritual than religious, and I do believe that there is something beyond just this world. I guess that is what gets me through a lot of days when this life just seems so hard to deal with. It isn't really rational, but I guess that is what having faith is all about. Not looking at the rational, and instead just going with your gut and sometimes just believing in whatever gets you through your days.

I sometimes wonder if I am doing my daughter a disservice by not taking her to church. Just because I have a problem with most organized religions, should I impose that prejudice on her. I want her to make her own choices in life and find her own faith, but how easy will that be without some religious foundation. My mother brought my sister and I to Sunday School at a Lutheran church when we were yougn, although she herself did not attend. Should I do something like that for Lanie? I do miss the community and fellowship that you find in a church, but think it would be hypocritical for me to attend just for those things. It is something that I really have no idea about what I should do, but it weighs heavily on me that I may not be doing the best thing for my daughter.

This post has kind of rambled on and not really answered anything, but instead posed more questions for me to ponder. That's OK because questioning things kees us thinking and moving forward in what hopefully will be a positive direction.

I wish I could sleep for 12 hours

2006-10-11T19:00:00.000-07:00

So, yesterday when I picked up my daughter from my parents house, she was asleep on the couchand had been since about 5:30 when she finally conked out after refusing to nap all afternoon. Moving her to the car did not wake her up. Maving her from the car into the house did not wake her up. I even attempted to put her down because she seemed half awake, and she merely walked over the nearest couch and crawled up and went back to sleep. Me moving her to yet another couch and then up into bed did not wake her. She slept until 5:30 this morning! She kind of woke up very briefly in the middle of the night once, and went immediately back to sleep after I remedied the blanket issue she was having. I know she doesn't get this ability to sleep that long from me, so it must come from her father who could sleep for days if I let him. I love watching her sleep, but after being at work all day I cherish the few hours I have to play with her and hang out with her BEFORE she goes to sleep! Oh well, it was just one night, and today she was back to taking her nap as usual.

Going to the State Fair!

2006-10-09T06:17:00.000-07:00

Since I have today off, and we were given free tickets at school, I am taking Lanie and my parents to the fair today! I can already smell the Fletcher's Corny Dogs!

Who Are You?

2006-10-08T11:06:00.000-07:00

I was looking through the hits on my blog and came across one that has my curiosity peaked. I like to look at the referrals page to see how people find my blog. I'm always amazed at what word combinations will lead someone to get to me with a google search. Well, yesterday someone found my blog by searching on the words "Kellie", "Dallas", and "Democrat." For those that don't know me, I was very involved in Democratic politics in Dallas back in the early 90s, so it would seem someone might have actually been looking for me. If so, and you come back to my blog, let me know who you are. I love catching up with old friends and think its great that my blog might lead someone to find me!

Computer Woes

2006-10-08T09:37:00.000-07:00

So, a couple of weeks ago, I started having trouble with my eMac. It spontaneously shut down, and acted like it was going to restart and then wouldn't get to the login screen. It has not worked since. My darling husband is a master computer geek, so he finally got down to trying to fix it yesterday and has had little success. Fortunately he was able to get all of my pictures and documents off of it before he wiped the hard drive, but even doing that has not remedied the issue. He even braved Fry's yesterday because it looked like it might be a problem with the memory, but no go with that either. So now I have to bring it in to the Apple Store and see if they can diagnose the problem without us having to spend an arm and a leg. If it can't be fixed I WILL be getting a laptop! Right now, I am having to use his eMac to check e-mail, read blogs, etc., but I really want my own computer back! Hopefully when mine is fixed or I get a new one, I will be able to post some of the pictures I have been meaning to post.

Well, I am off to watch some football... GO COWBOYS!!!!!!

Blogger beta! Finally!

2006-10-05T17:03:00.000-07:00

So here is my blog now in the beta Blogger! The invitation to switch it over appeared on my dashboard this morning and I transferred it over when I got home this evening. I haven't really looked at all the new features but look forward to playing around with it sometime soon! So for those that complained about not being able to comment because I was on the old blogger, here it is... comment away!

My daughter amazes me in so many ways....

2006-10-01T06:14:00.000-07:00

Right now, the way that she is amazing me the most is how well she is swimming. The last 2 weeks of June, I put Lanie in swim lessons, just to start getting her to know some of the basics and for safety reasons. With us having our own pool in the backyard, I was so worried about her being safe around it and in it. Now, she swims like a fish... and s probably better in the water than I am. I have some extreme phobias of putting my head underwater, so the only way I swim is with my head above water. Not Lanie though, she dives in on one side of the pool, swims across to the beach entry with her head underwater the whole time and then gets herself out! It amazes me and pretty much everyone who sees her swimming. I am so happy that she is so comfortable in the water. We went swimming yesterday, and the water was a bit chillier than it had been over the summer. I had to get in slowly, but Lanie just jumped right in. She is definitely a little water baby. She wants to go swimming all the time. Every day she will ask us at least once if we will go swimming with her. Now that it is getting cooler, I wonder how she is going to handle not being able to swim all the time. We have a spa as part of our pool, so there is a heater connected to the whole system, and we have actually considered heating the pool every so often through the off season, so we can all go swimming, but especially for Lanie. I need to find a place around here with an indoor pool, but the only one I know of around here is sooo expensive! Would probably be worth it though!

Stressed Out

2006-09-16T07:54:00.000-07:00

Well, this week has been pretty stressful and I am so glad the weekend is here! My husband came back from his business trip last night, and we were so glad to have him home! I am sure just that in and of itself will reduce my stress level significantly. The other thing that has me stressed big time right now is my blood pressure. And, yes, I know that being stressed about it is probably just making it worse, but it is hard not to worry about it. Earlier this summer my doctor gave me samples of a medication to help lower my blood pressure. I took them and they helped, but, being the procratinator that I am, I didn't get back in to see her to get the prescription. Well, earlier this week I took my blood pressure and it was 143/91.... not good at all! So, I made it in to see my doc yesterday and got more samples AND the prescription to send in to be filled. Between the medication and losing weight, I hope I can get it to come down to where it needs to be. I hate the fact that at the age of 35 I am having to take all of these medications and I worry about not being around for my daughter. I just have to keep working on my diet and hope that it will help.

9/11

2006-09-11T03:49:00.000-07:00

You can't really go anywhere right now without hearing about the tragedy that befell our country on 9/11/01. I remember that day so clearly, which is amazing because I remember very little from the past with this much clarity. I was traveling down I-35W in Fort Worth, getting close to downtown when the radio station I was listening to told us of breaking news about the first plane hitting one of the World Trade Center towers. Of course, at that time no one had any idea that it was just the beginning of many tragedies that would occur that day. And no one knew that this was just the beginning of a huge terrorist attack on our country. I immediately got on the phone to my parents because I thought they would want to turn on the TV to see what was happening. I was in my 1st year of teaching, and this particular week I was in training. I arrived at the training location just a few minutes after the 1st news report had been made, and just in time to see the news coverage of the 2nd plane flying into the other tower. My colleagues and I stood and watched this tragedy unfold before our eyes. I remember that one of the women there was immediately concerned because her father was scheduled on an American flight from the East Coast that morning and she couldn't get a hold of him to make sure he was alright. (Fortunately, he was on another flight that morning.) The trainers, despite all that was going on, did try to move forward with our training, even thought I think everyone there wanted to see what was happening in NYC. On every break, and throughout the lunch hour, most of us were there with the TV on taking in all of the information being given to us and wondering what the future was going to bring. We watched in horror as the towers fell, and prayed for all those who hadn't escaped. Later in the day, the superintendent sent word that all staff were to return to their individual campuses to help handle things in their own classes. Parents were coming to the schools to take their children home early and there was a lot of confusion, so everyone was needed to make sure things stayed as normal and calm for the children as possible. I don't really think my students understood the magnitude of what happened that day. I'm not even sure if I fully comprehend all of the ramifications of what happened that day. What I do know is that I cried. I didn't know anyone who died in this tragedy, but I cried for each and every one of them and their families.

Several weeks ago, I heard an ad on the radio for the new movie about that day, and something that was said triggered the same emotions I felt 5 years ago, and , again, I found myself in tears as I was driving. Sometimes it amazes me, how something that is so far removed from your personal life can so deeply move you.

Toady, on this 5th anniversary of that tragic day, I want to remember all those who perished and their families. I want them to know that they are still in our thoughts and that they will always be remembered.

He really isn't all that bad....

2006-09-09T19:31:00.000-07:00

Most of the time when I talk to my close friends about my husband it is usually to bitch about him. Well, this past week has made me see a lot more of the good things he does and I think it's about time I give him the credit he deserves. They say you don't know what you have until it's gone, well it's true, even if they are only gone for a week! The things I really missed this past week were his cooking, as I mentioned in my last post, and the things he does with our daughter. I sometimes complain that he doesn't do enough with her, but he really does do a lot. Every evening that he is home, he is the one who gives her her bath, and gets her ready for bed. It is part of her evening ritual, and we both really miss that when he is gone. She loves it when he goes swimming with her, and I know she misses that too when he is gone. He also is probably better than me when it comes to consistency with discipline, which is an area I need to work on, but I really appreciate that quality in him. The other day, our little one was talking back to me (mostly just repeating something she has heard others say, but nonetheless it was talking back and disrespectful), and he immediately made it clear to her that it was not OK, and appropriately disciplined her. It actually made me feel good, because it was just one of those times that he was showing his respect for me by making sure that she isn't disrespectful to me. I could go on, but all I really wanted to do with this post is put down in words what has beenin my thoughts all week.

And, now, of course, he has to go away again for the next week!

Weekly Weigh In

2006-09-09T19:27:00.000-07:00

Well, I thought I had a pretty bad week, diet wise, but it ended up being pretty good. This morning I weighed in 3 pounds less than last week for a total of 25 pounds lost since I started on South Beach! This week was rough mostly because my husband was out of town. He usually cooks dinners for us, and is good about making it something I can eat and still be following my diet. Well, with him gone, and me working late, I just was too tired to cook and ended up doing some fast food stops this week, and, well, let's just say I didn't stick to the salads. Anyway, he's going to be out of town for the next week, so I am just going to have to plan things better so that I can stick with my diet even if he isn't here to cook for us.

Going crazy

2006-09-07T03:51:00.000-07:00

This week has been so hectic. My darling husband is out of town on business for the whole week in Fort Lauderdale (he sure has a rough life, doesn't he?), and this is the week that everyone in the school district decided we had to go to trainings every day after school. By the time I pick up the little one and get home, I am just wiped out! I sure have to give lots of kudos to the women out there who do it alone everyday because I am not sure I could do this long term. Anyway, I need to go get ready for what is sure to be another crazy day!

South Beach Diet

2006-09-03T21:16:00.000-07:00

So, I have been doing the South Beach Diet now on and off for the last month. It hasn't been as hard to follow as I thought it would be and I have lost 22 pounds so far. Granted I have a lot to lose, but I am really happy with that considering we had a housewarming party and I went to New Orleans during that time. I am telling you now that there is absolutely no way to stick with a diet while in New Orleans. The beignets, cafe au lait, and pralines were too hard to resist!

So, to help me hopefully do even better, I am going to start posting my loses (or gains) once a week on my blog. If I put it in print for all the world to see it will keep me more likely to stick with it.

This past week I lost 2 pounds!

Left Out...

2006-08-29T18:30:00.000-07:00

That's kind of how I am feeling these days. It is hard being the new person again, having to deal with a whole new set of co-workers again, and feeling like I just don't fit in. I should be used to it by now but it doesn't seem to ever get any easier. Growing up, my sister was the one who always had the "cool" friends, and I was always the outsider. Then in college, I went to a university where you weren't "in" unless you were in a sorority, and yeah, you guessed right, I was NOT in a sorority. I've never really had the tight knit group of friends that I always thought would be great to have. Now, don't get me wrong, I have some really great friends, but they are all pretty independent from one another, not people to go on group outings with. And bouncing from one school to another doesn't help this feeling of being left out at all. No matter where it is, it is always hard to be the new kid on the block, especially when you feel like you never fit in anywhere in the first place.

Oh well, I know it will get better, but right now it just really sucks.

What the &^&^%#^????

2006-08-21T15:50:00.000-07:00

OK, I added the Google AdSense bar to my blog a little while back and up until recently it had been putting up ads for the thing I had done to my eyes. I figure if I name the procedure those will come up again. Well, anyway, today I check out my blog and there are ads for drug and alcohol rehab centers!!! I think I made one reference to "partying" in my last post and that is what pops up!?!?! That is the only thing I could find that could remotely have triggered the placement of those ads. Wonder what would happen if I made reference to Orgies!!!!! Well, I guess we'll see!

Procrastinating

2006-08-17T21:32:00.000-07:00

Here I am posting on my blog when I should be finishing getting my house ready so that the housekeeper can come and clean it tomorrow. It just seems wrong to have to "clean" your house so the housekeeper can clean it! We are having our housewarming party on Saturday, so I have to de-clutter (which was supposed to get done over the summer), so I can have someone come and clean before Saturday. So, now my office is stacked with the boxes from all over the house that haven't been unpacked, or that got filled with stuff from around the house. My office will definitely be off limits area on the house tour! Eventually my office is to be my scrapbooking haven, but it certainly is no haven now. Oh well, I better get back to it. I hope some of you are out there actually getting some rest.... or partying your tail off in Dubai!

New Job, Part 2

2006-08-16T18:27:00.000-07:00

So I have made it through my first three days of school, and I am still alive. It is really good that I have an assistant who has been there for years and really likes what she does. We are still in the process of having to sort through everything that was in the room, and me trying to get curriculum organized so I can figure out what to use with each student, The students have a variety of disabilities and ability levels so it will be a juggling act to find the right thing to use with each of them. I ended up with 10 students, which is quite a load for this type of class, but it seems to be going well. We are still trying to get a schedule in place which is what most of these kids really need, a set routine to follow. I really do like these kids. They all are very lovable and I can see why all the people who work with them keep telling me that I will like it. I'm going to do my best and give it a couple months before I decide if I am going to try and switch positions at mid year. Who knows I really might end up liking it here.

New job

2006-08-10T18:09:00.000-07:00

Well I have spent this past week trying to get ready to start the new school year in my new position. I haven't had a lot of time actually in my classroom to try and get things ready for Monday, so I am a little stressed out about that, but overall am a lot less stressed than I had been. The staff at my new school seems friendly enough, but of course when I saw everyone from my last school today I couldn't help but wish that I was sitting over with them this year. It will just take a while to get adjusted. It was so different last year when I started at a new school, because I was actually excited to be there and I had left such a bad situation that I knew it really couldn't be any worse. Then I had such a great year there and then to find out I was being transferred, not because of something I did or because they didn't want me there, but just because of factors out of my control. There must be some reason for this, but I haven't figured it out yet. So many things have changed in the past 6 months. A new house, new job, close friend moving to the other side of the globe; sometimes it just seems so overwhelming to deal with so much change.

It's 3:30 in the morning....

2006-08-05T01:33:00.000-07:00

and I am up for two reasons. My little girl woke up around midnight, crawled out of her crib and came into our bed. Well, about half an hour ago, my dh asked if I could return her to her room, which I obliged. His back has been hurting and he has been tossing, turning, and moaning all night, which is probably the main reason I am awake. I tried to get him to take a pain killer and a muscle relaxant, but, would he take them???? noooooooooo..... Why is it that men who will use every kind of electronic technology and the latest and greatest gadgets will not use medical technology to their advantage?!?!?! See, if I am in pain, and know that a couple of pills will reduce my pain and let me sleep, I am all for it. I choose not to suffer. I just don't get it. Any insights out there for me?????

Lacking Motivation

2006-08-04T07:28:00.000-07:00

Here I am sitting at my computer typing this post when I should be at my old school packing up so I can move all my teaching crap that I won't be able to use in my new position to my new school, which I have never been to, and frankly at this point wish I would never see! I am having such a hard time getting into the right frame of mind to start this new job. I just want to go back to my old school with all of my friends there instead of being the new teacher again! I did that last year, and don't want to do it again! And then there is the issue of the class I will be teaching. It is sooo out of my comfort level, and not anything I ever wanted to teach at all. But these kids really do deserve someone who wants to be there which makes it even more frustrating that the Special Ed department would place someone there that absolutely does not want to be there. I have done the self contained class before with a different population of students, but hated it! I was sooo happy last year and now am going into this school year with a sense of dread. I know, I know... you say, why don't you quit, do something else for a year. Well, I've looked at my options, and can't see that any of them are much better. Substituting doesn't bring in enough money, which we need for our new house payment and expenses (last month's electric bill was $600!!!!!). I could go back and work for the state, but I was probably more miserable doing that before and I would lose my summers and other vacation time off, which is the prime reason I became and remane a teacher. The time with my daughter this summer has been awesome and I don't want to give that up. So, I will do what I always do. I will try to be postiive and do what I have to do to get by for the next year. I just needed to vent......

Wanna go hang gliding?

2006-08-03T22:12:00.000-07:00

I recently decided that I really want to go hang gliding. It kind of came on all of a sudden and is probably some kind of mid life thing, but I have this strong desire to hang glide. I think part of it is that I have always had these dreams where I am flying over places, just gliding from place to place. I'm not sure why it has all of a sudden turned into this strong desire to do this now, but I just can't seem to get it out of my mind. My husband is just glad I have an interest that doesn't involve this computer or the TV!

We're home!

2006-07-31T21:00:00.000-07:00

Well, me and my little one spent the last week in Sacramento, CA visiting the in-laws. We had a good time, but really foudn that 5 days there just isn't enough time. With everyone having to work during the weekdays, having only evenings and the weekend didn't leave a lot of time for visiting. And, I really wanted to make a trip up to Lake Tahoe, and that didn't happen, so maybe next time.

Lanie was awesome as usual all week. She was seeing a lot of people that she doesn't see very often and wasn't getting to take her regular naps, but was really pretty good all week.

Now, I have less than a week until school starts and I am dreading it since it looks like I am stuck in a position that I absolutely do not want. All I can say is that I will suck it up and do it for a year, but then I am out of there!

Anyway, I am about to collapse, so I will say goodnight!

Having underwater tea parties!

2006-07-16T06:39:00.000-07:00

Well, yesterday we had some friend's over for barbecue and swimming. Since I couldn't go in the pool, our friend, Mindy, was kind enough to keep Lanie occupied. Since we have been able to use the pool, we have been working with Lanie on the skills she had learned in her swim lessons, one of which was going underwater to "see the fishies." Well, she has pretty much across the board said no every time we have asked if she wanted to go underwater or go see the fishies. She would talk about it before going out to the pool, but then when we got out there she would adamantly say no. Well, yesterday, Mindy was playing with her and told her they were going to have an underwater tea party and she got Lanie to put her head underwater all on her own! What a proud mommy moment that was for me. It's especially so for me because I myself won't put my head under water due to some pretty severe phobias (that, yes, I am trying to overcome considering I now have a pool in my backyard).

Truly Amazing!

2006-07-16T06:35:00.000-07:00

Well, I officially am a member of the LASIK fan club. It is truly amazing to me that I can now see as well as I ever could with glasses or contacts... maybe even a little better! I highly recommend it to anyone who is considering haveing it done. Just make sure you pick a good Laser Center to do it.

"I can see clearly now... " almost!

2006-07-15T08:50:00.000-07:00

Well, I had the LASIK done yesterday and it went really well. It really is a pretty quick and painless procedure. Just a little discomfort/pressure when they are cutting the flap with the laser. It was a little freaky to smell the burning though when they are doing the actual correction. So, yesterday I did my best to get all the drops in my eyes as instructed, and I was amazed at how much I could already see. It still is a bit hazy, which they say will go away as the swelling reduces, but at my follow-up this morning I could read the line on the eyechart for 20/20 vision with my left eye! I actually drove without contacts or glasses for the first time in my life! I really wish I had done this a long time ago. I am sitting here typing this and reading things on my computer and amazed that just yesterday morning I couldn't have done it without my glasses or contacts. I know, I know... I sound like an ad for LASIK, but it really is amazing!

Now, my little one wasn't too pleased with me yesterday after the procedure because I was trying to lie down and close my eyes as I had been instructed. She kept wanting me to read to her and play with her, and threw fits when I couldn't. ANd lately it seems that I am the only one she will be happy for. I left her with her daddy for a little while the other night to go fill a prescription and her said she threw a fit the entire time I was gone. I'm just hoping she'll get over it quickly when I go back to school in a few weeks!

Can't wait to see 20/20... I hope!

2006-07-12T09:08:00.000-07:00

I had my pre-procedure examination yesterday for my LASIK surgery scheduled for Friday. They said everything looks good and that I am a good candidate for the surgery. The doctor seemed very optimistic and said he thinks I should have a good result. Of course, they also give you this document that is several pages long outlining all of the things that could go wrong ans make you watch a video that goes over all of them as well. I know it is basically to cover their asses, but it does make me a little nervous! Anyway, hopefully by Sunday I will have much improved vision and can throw out all the contact lense solution and related items!

You know you're getting old......

2006-07-08T07:33:00.000-07:00

..... when you have to create a form to track when you have taken your medications because in the evening you can't remember what it is you took in the morning! I'm 35 and I feel like I am falling apart. I have some unknown injury to my foot that is taking months to heal (hard to heal when you have to use it every day). It did feel better after sitting in the spa for a while last night, so I may just have to do that some more! I have an appointment this week for Lasik surgery and I am really excited! I can't wait to not have to wear glasses or contacts anymore! The doc did say that eventually we all have to deal with wearing reading glasses, but that it is very possible that they will have a way to treat that by the time it hits me! I also have an appointment this week with an endocriniologist to try and get some treatment for my PCOS. My biggest worry there is that he is going to say I am diabetic already. There is a history of diabetes in my family and PCOS is considered a pre-diabetic condition. Hopefully, he will be able to get me going in the right direction to start controlling some of the things that the PCOS throws out of whack.

I never thought that at 35 I would still feel so young mentally but so old physically.

I know... it's been a while....

2006-07-08T07:20:00.000-07:00

...... and a lot of things have changed!

Where to start? I guess the biggest change has been our move into the new house and the very recent completion of the swimming pool (which I have a very hard time keeping Lanie out of!). I am enjoying the new house, but still have way tooo much stuff to still unpack and get organized. It's a bit overwhelming and in my ususal procrastinating manner, little has actually been accomplished in the weeks since I got out of school. While I have done a lot in that time and have been dealing with an injured foot, I really have no excuse as to why we aren't more settled in. I need to work on that, and try to get some motivation.

On the work side, the district is trying to move me to a different school. I was so happy at my job this past year, and I feel like they are trying to take that away. I know it's nothing personal against me, it's just that the numbers in the program at my school are a lot less thatn what is needed to have two teachers. I still can't help but feel like I'm being punished somehow. I have to just start hoping that either another position comes available at my school, or that they find me a position that I will love just as much at another school. Trying to follow the whole things happen for a reason philosophy I guess.

The bright spot in my life, as usual, is my beautiful little girl. I have been having a blast with her this summer, spending a lot of time at our community pool and now in out own pool! We had Cassy and Rylee staying with us for a couple weeks, and really enjoyed getting to spend time with them before they left on their big adventure! Lanie and I are going to miss the hell out of those two!

That's pretty much life in a nutshell at this time. I can't promise that I am going to keep this thing up, but I'll give it a try!

Happy Halloween!

2005-10-31T11:34:00.000-08:00

This is the 1st Halloween for my little girl to go trick or treating! She really doesn't understand, but I am very excited! She is going to be dressed up as a butterfly, and I can't wait to see her in her little costume. We are only going to go to a few houses to go trick or treating and maybe make a trip out to my paarents house to trick or treat there so they can see her. I'll try to get some pictures up soon if I can find the cord for my camera!

Kiss My A**

2005-10-31T11:30:00.000-08:00

I really have a strong dislike for people who can do nothing but complain. I serve on two different groups at school for which I get no additional compensation. I work my butt off and on Friday I really got ticked because the same individual could do nothing but make complaints about both groups. Of course, that individual does not serve on either group, and I just have this to say... "If you think you can do it better, then step right up and do it!" Otherwise you can kiss my big fat a**!

How did THAT happen?!?!

2005-10-12T08:58:00.000-07:00

My little girl is 18 months old today! I just can't believe it. How quickly all this time has flown. She is getting to be such a big girl now, talking away, running everywhere and definitely developing a personality all her own. She is so strong willed and self confident and I hope she continues to be a strong as she grows up as she is today.

I took this picture of her in her bassinet just over a week ago before I sold it at our garage sale. I had to keep telling myself that it is just a thing, but it was really hard to let it go. I cried, which I am not sure why I did, but I guess it was just the realization that she isn't a little baby anymore. I love this little girl more than anything and as much as I have enjoyed the time while she has been small, I also look forward to seeing the incredible young woman that I know she is going to grow up to be.

We did it!

2005-10-06T12:52:00.000-07:00

We bought the house... or should I say the plot of dirt. We signed the contract for a nice brand new house to be built within the next six months. So, now the fun begins. Within the next two weeks we have to make ALL of our selections: paint, carpet, tile, cabinets, doors, trim, lighting, etc, etc..... Tomorrow we have a meet and greet scheduled with the builder, but that is only supposed to take a few minutes. But that is the guy I am sure we will be talking a lot to! The design center hasn't called yet to make our appointment to make all of our selections so we are a bit antsy about that, considering the time frame in which we must make all the decisions and I really don't want to make any final decisions the first time we go there. Anyway, I am sure a lot of my ranting over the next 6 months or so will be about this whole process, because from what I hear, it can be an unpleasant experience!

As far as everything else goes, things are going pretty well. I still love my job, my little girl is awesome, and me and the hubby are even doing well. So, I really don't have anything to bitch about... for now!

It is a woman's prerogative to change her mind!

2005-09-29T16:01:00.000-07:00

OK, so I have kind of done a 180 on the whole new house thing. I thought about it a lot, and decided I was being a little bit nit picky about the whole kitchen thing. I mean, I don't even cook that much! And, I got hubby to agree that if we do get it that we have to buy a new dining set with a nice china cabinet which would move a lot of stuff I currently have in the kitchen into the china cabinet, solving the too little space thing. Besides, even if we waited until next year and got a more expensive house then, it would probably make it a lower likelihood for me to stop working, which is my ultimate goal. I can still see myself making my two year goal even if we get this house. This house is very nice, would be brand new, with a nice brand new pool, and would be closer to my work, which is also a plus. So, I changed my mind and told hubby that we should explore the possibility further which of course made him happy.

House Hunting, Part Deux

2005-09-28T18:27:00.000-07:00

Well, last night, the hubby madde an appointment for us to go look at a new housing development. We looked at two different houses, and both were pretty nice. Hubby is just psyched and excited over these houses, but I cannot muster even one "woo hoo." It would be nice to have a new house... with a swimming pool. But a couple things keep coming up in my mind. I do not like the kitchen. It is too small and will not hold all of my kitchen stuff. One of the reasons for moving into a new, bigger house is so I will have room for all of my "stuff!" I should not have to get rid of stuff, even stuff I may not ever need or use, to move into a bigger house! Second, there are only two lots available that will accommodate the house we are looking at. And neither one is extremely appealing to me. But they will be opening a new part of the addition next year, but I don't think I can get hubby t want to wait. Wish me luck when I talk to him tonight.

Disappointed...

2005-09-24T18:17:00.000-07:00

So, we made an offer on te house, but unfortunately someone else made a bid too, and they apparently made a better offer than we did. I had gotten my hopes up way too much, and so now I am very disappointed. We hadn't even really been looking for a house and David just happen to come across this one by chance, but I really liked it and could picture us there. Oh well, shit happens. I have to tell myself it just wasn't meant to be and that there is a perfect house out there for us and it will come along when things are better for us financially. So, now it's back to concentrating on paying off bills, and doing some things to this house to get it ready to sell. And, I need to find some way to get things more organized here so I am not so miserable trying to keep this house functioning. So, it will probably mean another trip to IKEA to get some cool organization things, which always cheers me up.

My sister told me to think about all the things I didn't like about the house. I am trying but it's hard.....

WOOOO HOOOOOO

2005-09-19T11:13:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Cassy I was able to get my ticker working, as you can see at the top of this page. It seems that lately it doesn't take much to make me happy. Which if you are my husband, my employer, or friends, is a good thing, because you really don't have to do much to keep me blissfully happy. And, I am not even taking any happy pills! Wouldn't THAT be scary! I guess having a job I enjoy going to has helped with my outlook on life a great deal!

Anyway, there is also a Woo Hoo about our house buying endeavor. We got pre-qualified for enough to buy the house we are looking at without having sold our current house. Which means we have a bit more time to worry about our house and I don't have to go crazy trying to get it ready to sell. I still have to do that, but not so it can be sold TOMORROW! Of course, we also can't afford to be carrying two house payments for too long, so we would want to get it sold ASAP. Anyone want to buy a nice 4 bedroom, 3 bath, 2 car garage house in the nice quiet town of Trophy Club (a suburb of Dallas/Fort Worth for those unfamiliar with Texas)?

House Hunting

2005-09-18T11:51:00.000-07:00

Well, earlier this week the hubby just out of the blue decided to look for houses for sale in our area, and found one that we really like. We weren't actually looking and had discussed moving in a couple of years, but this house just seems perfect for us. It is a lot more space, has a swimming pool/hot tub, and the master bathroom is just awesome. It has twice as much square footage as the house we are in now with lots of storage space. I am trying not to get too excited but I would really like to get this house. I will be calling a mortgage agent tomorrow to see if we could qualify for the house even if we aren't able to sell our current house in a short period of time. We have so much to do to this house that trying to get it ready to sell while we are still living in it just doesn't seem real likely. So, we'll see what happens, but I will be keeping my fingers and toes crossed!

I hate it when I can't figure things out....

2005-09-16T18:10:00.001-07:00

So I like the ticker Cassy has on her blog, so I decided I would go make one myself. Well, I did but then when I tried to figure out where to put it in my blog template I couldn't figure it out! I'm usually pretty good at technical things but I suck at this!

Anyway, here it is:

http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;10100;0/st/20040412/n/Lanie/dt/-1/k/78c5/age.png

If I can ever figure out how to put it at the top of the page, it will reside there.

So, I can blog from work.... kinda...

2005-09-14T12:16:00.000-07:00

Well, I took my laptop to work today because I had heard that there is a wireless network at the church across the street that I might be able to access the internet through. Well.... I can.... but not from my room. I am currently standing in the hallway across from my room, which is the closest place I have found where I can maintain the connection. If I attempt to return into my class, it's gone. So, here I am between groups, typing this message. Well, at least it is something!

Blog comment spam

2005-09-13T17:51:00.000-07:00

I was just saying to my hubby earlier this evening that only one person ever comments on my blog, and so I was so excited when I looked at my blog and my latest entry had two comments. Then, of course, my excitement turned to sadness when I discovered it was just some blog comment spam! Do people have nothing better to do? And who exactly do they think they are going to reach with their spam? Me and the one other person who reads my blog?????? So I have added the little word verification thing on my comments.... so, Cassy, it will take a little more effort to post your comments. ;-)

Can't believe this is the 5th week of school....

2005-09-13T15:55:00.000-07:00

It has just flown by! I guess it is true, time does fly when you are having fun. I have not found any reasons yet to be unhappy with my job, and find more and more reasons every day to like it! Yesterday, I actually got positive feedback from my principal. I just about fainted. I can't recall that EVER happening at the hell hole. Here, we turn in our lesson plans every Friday, and the principal makes any comments/suggestions that she has. Well, I got mine back and had a smiley face sticker and she had written "Nice ARDs last week." ARDs are our meetings for special ed students to discuss their placement and individual education plans. Well, I had the first ones that I really had to present anything at last week, and she apparently liked how I conducted myself. It's always nice to get some positive feedback! Additionally, she seems to like how I am handling the Student Council thus far. We are just getting started with the election process, and so far I think I will enjoy being the Advisor. It's just so weird being at a school where they actually have extracurricular activities for the students. In addition to Student Council, there are sports, a chess club, cheerleaders, a garden club, and several other things I can't think of right now. And they are getting the PTA started right now, and it sounds like they do a whole lot for the school.

And besides all the extra stuff, I really like the students I work with. They are respectful and I actually get to teach them something. It's a whole new world for me! So, overall, I am very happy where I am and now I know what it is to truly love your job!

I love being a mom!

2005-09-13T15:54:00.000-07:00

I think the best thing I have ever done in my life was becoming a mom. Alana makes every day so worthwhile and all I have to do is look at her, and I smile. 'nuff said!

I've been tagged...

2005-09-08T18:38:00.000-07:00

So, I've been tagged by my good friend Cassy to list 100 things about myself. I think she did it because I haven't been posting at all, and have been a neglectful blogger. So here it is... not very interesting, but it's me.

1. I was born in California.
2. I have the greatest parents in the whole world.
3. I have a sister who I think is wonderful, even if she drives me crazy sometimes.
4. I have been married to David for almost 6 years.
5. We met on AOL, in the San Francisco Bay Area chat room.
6. No, we did not have a long drawn out internet romance.
7. We met in person for coffee the same day we met online.
8. We lived together for over 3 years before we got married.
9. We bought the house we live in together before we got married.
10. We have one child, Alana, my beautiful little girl, who is the center of my world.
11. I had Alana by c-section because she was transverse and we thought she was 10+ pounds.
12. My parents watch Alana for me while I work.
13. I work as a Special Education teacher.
14. The teaching job I had for the last 4 years was hell.
15. I love my new job.
16. I am a Special Ed Resource Teacher in an elementary school.
17. I am the Student Council advisor at my new school.
18. I could be a better teacher but...
19. I am lazy.
20. Which is one of the things I am trying to work on.
21. I am overweight.
22. I am working on that too.
23. My self esteem could use a boost.
24. Yeah, working on that too.
25. I am a Pisces.
26. I am very emotional.
27. I worry too much.
28. I am a bit paranoid.
29. I am a people pleaser.
30. I have been hurt by too many people I considered friends.
31. Which makes me a bit weary when trying to make new friends.
32. I think I have some great friends.
33. I wish I could spend more time with my friends.
34. I grew up going to church at the Salvation Army.
35. I became disillusioned with the church during my senior year in high school.
36. When we got a new minister who ended up sexually harassing the office staff.
37. I knew there was some reason I didn't like him.
38. I went to college at SMU in Dallas.
39. I stopped going to church when I went to college.
40. I majored in Sociology and Religious Studies.
41. I had a minor in Medieval Studies.
42. I studied in Oxford for a summer.
43. I was not in a sorority.
44. But was in a co-ed service fraternity, Alpha Phi Omega
45. I graduated with honors.
46. My friends are amazed I did as well in college with as little studying as I did.
47. I wish I had put forth more effort in college.
48. I have thought about going to law school more times than I can count.
49. My first job out of college was as Assistant Manager of a clothing store.
50. After job hopping for a while I ended up working in politics.
51. I was a Republican before I became old enough to vote.
52. I had Bush/Quayle posters up in my dorm room my Freshman year.
53. By the time I was old enough to vote I was much more liberal, and very much a Democrat.
54. I voted for Ann Richards in the first election I could vote in.
55. I worked on the 1st Clinton/Gore campaign.
56. I was Vice President of the Texas Young Democrats.
57. And served on the State Democratic Executive Committee, which I thought was really cool when I was 23.
58. I met President Clinton in 1995.
59. I have an Official White House photograph of me and Clinton.
60. I don't like what Clinton did in his personal life.
61. But, I liked his policy and think he is a great politician.
62. I also got to meet Hilary Clinton once.
63. I worked for a Democratic congresswoman from Dallas.
64. That was the only job I have ever been "released" from.
65. I still resent that, because I think I was doing a good job.
66. That was in 1995, one of the worst years in my life.
67. In addition to losing my job, my boyfriend at the time moved out with no explanation.
68. After he had neglected to change the oil in my car like he said he had, so the engine seized.
69. So I was in Dallas with no job, no roommate and no car.
70. So I moved back home with my parents.
72. I got a job with the county doing Eligibility Work.
73. 4 months after moving back to CA, I met David.
74. We moved to Edmond, Oklahoma in 1997 with David's company.
75. We moved here to Trophy Club in 1999 when David got a job down here.
76. I did social work with Child Protective Services for 3 1/2 years in OK and TX.
77. I didn't feel my life was complete until I had Lanie.
78. I would like to have another child, but I am happy with her for now.
79. I am 6 1/2 years older than my husband.
80. I don't think that really matters or makes that big of a difference in our lives (except when he was under 21 and couldn't buy his own beer!)
81. I bowl in a league with my husband every Sunday morning.
82. Yes, that means we don't go to church.
83. I have a hard time with organized religion.
84. But miss the community it offers.
85. I think I am a spiritual person, but not a religious one.
86. I think it is more important to be spiritual.
87. I think a lot of "religious" people are a bunch of show with no substance.
88. I am pretty much apolitical now.
89. I still am pretty liberal when it comes to social issues.
90. I find myself becoming more moderate to conservative fiscally though.
91. I more closely identify with democrats still, but my husband is more republican in his views.
92. I don't like our current President's policies, positions, anything!
93. I don't think enough money is spent on education, and not just for teacher's salaries.
94. I hate the TAKS test, and none of my students even have to take it.
95. I teach in public school but want my daughter to go to private school, so I guess that makes me a hypocrite.
96. I don't read as much as I would like.
97. I love to scrapbook but don't do it as much as I would like.
98. I take pictures of my daughter every chance I get.
99. I think my little girl is the cutest baby in the whole world.
100. I love my little girl more than I ever thought was possible.

Well, that's it.... well not really. As I got to the end of this I thought of a lot more I could write, and considering I thought I was going to have a hard time coming up with 100, I think that is amazing. Well, 100 is all I was tagged for and 100 it is! Guess if you want to know more, you'll have to come over and have a bottle of wine with me!

Hmmm..... I guess my only other blogging friend that hasn't already done this is Stephanie, so tag you're it!

I guess I overreact sometimes....

2005-08-19T18:43:00.000-07:00

Well, when I went to bed last night, I thought I'd be getting the cold shoulder, but, as he does on occassion, my hubby surprised me. When I crawled into bed, he put his arms around me and held me, which has to be the greatest feeling in the world when you think you have royally screwed up. Sometimes David does pleasantly surprise me andmake me remember some of the reasons I married him. And sometimes the making up does make the fight worth it.....

Why do I do these things!

2005-08-18T22:33:00.000-07:00

Why do I turn something good into shit?!?! I am just so frustrated with myself right now. Things seem to be going good and I want to get a little something more out of it and "bam" things just blow up in my face. Of course, this has to do with my husband, which has been a source of much concern for me lately. So, I decided to do something about it and we had a really long, good talk tonight. It seemed like we were making progress and moving in the right direction toward having a better understanding of each other and getting back some of the closeness that has been lacking here recently. Then I have to go ruin things, or at least that is how I feel right now. Things were going well, things felt good, so I decided to bring up something that has been a point of contention because I mistakenly thought maybe with all of this good feeling I could possibly get him to see my point of view on it. And that's where I was wrong. Things just degraded from there and now I am in the living room typing this and he is in bed brooding. We are both mad and I wonder how much of the progress I thought we were making has evaporated. I'm just so frustrated and I want more than anything for things to improve. I think we are heading in the right direction and I think we both want things to get better, but when things blow up like they did tonight I just wonder. Wonder if I am just hitting my head against a brick wall, or if all of this effort is going to make any difference. Hopefully, I will feel better about things tomorrow. I have to be like Scarlett O'Hara and remind myself that tomorrow is another day.

Well, I'm off to go try and get some sleep. Goodnight.

My first day of school

2005-08-08T16:55:00.000-07:00

Well, today was my first day at my new school. We just had some training and went over some things, and I was able to start getting to know my fellow teachers. Everyone seems very nice and I continue to have good feelings about this school year. Students come back next Monday, but I probably won't start holding class until the following week, being a reource teacher. So, it sounds like next week will be spent getting things organized, having meetings, doing paperwork, doing testing, and other things in preparation for working with the students. The rest of this week will be spent in various inservice trainings and then Friday we will be able to work in our rooms. I am not even sure where to start in there. It's a bit overwhelming to think about right now, but I am sure the current resource teacher can provide me with some guidance.

I was a little disappointed this morning when I left for work. I guess I figured I would get at least a "good luck on your first day" from either my husband or my parents, and didn't get a single one. But, then everyone did ask me how my day went afterwards which made me feel a bit better. David hardly ever asks how my day was, so that was a pretty big deal.

Well its off to bed for me... have to get used to getting up at 5 am again!

OK, so shopping on tax free weekend isn't THAT bad...

2005-08-07T16:30:00.000-07:00

I went to Lane Bryant today to take advantage of some coupons and the whole take free thing and ended up with $260 worth of close for $150 and saved the extra $12 or so in tax. I got two bags full of clothes that I actually like adn can wear to work and look at least semi-professional. I had gotten so relaxed at my last school - I think my attire reflected both how I felt about the job and how I felt about myself. I really am trying to work on feeling better about myself, so I figure a good start is to feel better about how I look. I'm using my Arbonne RE9 set for my face and already see a difference. I kept off the weight I lost earlier this year over the summer and will be heading back to Weight Watchers to keep my weight going the right direction. I was very pleased at Lane Bryant that I could fit into size 24, considering a year ago it was more like 26 or 28.

And Southlake Town Center wasn't nearly as crowded as IKEA was when I went there on Friday, so that was a plus. Speaking of IKEA, it was total craziness there. ANd, of course, all of the things they had on special for their grand opening that I wanted were already sold out. But there was absolutely NO WAY I was going to be at IKEA on Wednesday, which is probably when I would have had to be here to get any of those things. And I hear it was even crazier this weekend so I'm glad I went when I did.

This weekend has been a pretty lazy on for me, just did the little bit of shopping today. Still haven't cleaned the house or done laundry, which is what usually transpires on the weekends, but we'll live. David has been sick all weekend, and has spent it in front of his video game. Lanie seems to be getting a little better, but still has a runny nose. She was really cranky earlier today, but since she took a little nap when we got home from shopping she has been very happy.

Gotta go get things ready for tomorrow. I'm both excited about my new job, but also sad the summer is over and I have to leave me little girl again. I so enjoy the time I get to spend with her during my time off. But such is life.. works beckons.

Getting excited...

2005-08-06T15:49:00.000-07:00

I am getting excited about my new teaching position. I saw my classroom on Friday, and it is so much nicer than where I was. I have furniture, computers (yes, 2 computers!), and a good deal of storage space. I can't wait to start setting it up. My father went with me on Friday to help me move my stuff from storage to my room, which is on the 2nd floor of the school. Luckily, they have an elevator that isn't too terribly far from my room and my father came prepared with a dolly, so it wasn't too bad. Everyone I ran into was very friendly and welcoming so I just am getting a really good feeling about this assignment. After 4 years in hell, I guess it is my turn for something a little better.

I also need to say I have the best parents in the world. I don't know what I would do with out them. I couldn't have moved all that stuff by myself, that I know. And my mother watched Lanie while we did it so I knew she was in good hands. And that's how I feel every day when I leave her there while I work. Last year, my dad made breakfast for me almost everyday, and both my mom and dad spent their days playing with and taking care of my little girl. I couldn't ask for a better situation. So when I think about some of the things that suck in my life, I have to remind myself of some of the good things, like these two remarkable people I am proud to have as my parents. I couldn't have chosen any better...

Just a little bit jealous...

2005-08-06T15:38:00.000-07:00

Lately my little girl has been a real mama's girl. I guess 6 weeks of being away from Daddy will do that. It is "Mama" for everything. She wakes up in the middle of the night and cries out "mama, mama, mama...." until I come. I know her Daddy gets a bit jealous of it at times and wishes she was more of a Daddy's girl, but I am sure that time will come.

Well, today was my turn to get a little bit jealous. This afternoon after her nap, Lanie wanted her Daddy so I brought her to him, and she just SAT with him for like 15 minutes. My little girl almost never just sits. I found myself getting a tinge of the green-eyed monster just watching it. It was a pretty picture to watch, I do have to admit. He looks at her with so much love and she reflects it right back. I guess I get a little bit jealous of that too. That's normal, isn't it? After almost 10 years together I don't get many of those looks, but I guess in a way when he looks at her with all that love, some of that is for me too.

Well this wasn't supposed to turn into me talking about my relationship with my husband, so I guess I will end it here. Someday I will rant about everything going through my head about that, but just don't have the energy for it now.

My baby is sick....

2005-08-04T20:20:00.000-07:00

...and I feel so powerless! I just hate not being able to just make her all better. Lanie started haivng a runny nose on Monday: Tuesday morning she was all congested and running a fever; now, she has an ugly sore on her lip that just LOOKS painful! I took her to the doctor today, and he basically said it just has to run its course. I HATE that! My normally happy, happy baby is not her normal joyful self. She is very needy and much more likely to melt down if she doesn't get her way. I keep having to tell myself that this too will pass!

I hate STUPID people!

2005-08-04T20:02:00.000-07:00

STUPID PEOPLE, Part 1

Yesterday I had to deal with my fair share of stupid people, and was so mad I had to give myself a day to calm down before I even wrote about it. What is it with people these days who can't stand to see anyone around them happy? I was at Benihana's yesteday with my parents and my sister to celebrate my parents' 40th wedding anniversary. I, of course, had Lanie with me. And even though she has been sick, she was very happy, smiley, and saying "hi" to everyone. We had one of the tables to ourselves and so we took our time eating and lingered over our dessert and green tea. Well, my dad was holding Lanie and playing with her, which brings great joy to my daughter. So, of course, she expresses her joy in the form of happy squeals. Apparently, someone at the next table complained to the waitress, asking if she could say something to us about Lanie being too loud. We were in BENIHANA'S for Christ's sake! We weren't in some quiet, high brow restaurant. What is it about seeing a HAPPY child that upsets people? I could somewhat understand if Lanie were crying inconsolably or having a fit, btu she was just happy and expressing her joy. Yesterday I was angry, but now I just feel sorry for those people. They must be in a really bad place in their lives to not want to experience a little bit of joy found in the laughter and smile of a child.

STUPID PEOPLE, Part 2

So, as if I hadn't had enough stupid people to make me angry, on the way home from the restaurant, I experienced yet another idiot. I was driving home on 114, and a section of the road had the left lane closed. I turn my turn signal on and see I have enough space to merge into the middle lane before this United States Postal Service truck. I begin to move over and he speeds up and starts flashing his lights and honking at me. He then jerks his big truck into the right lane and speeds way up to pass me and several other cars, and then jerks back into the middle lane. That kind of idiot is not only stupid, but very scary when you have a small child in your car. When the left lane opened back up, I moved into the lane and looked for any identifying marks on the truck, and found one number, and you can believe the Postal Service will be getting a complaint about that idiot!

THAT WAS ALL THE STUPID PEOPLE I COULD HANDLE FOR ONE DAY!

Well, Lanie and I made it home safe and sound, and I got her to bed, and I just vegged out for the rest of the evening. I definitely was telling myself that things would be better TOMORROW!

Too much to do....

2005-08-02T12:51:00.000-07:00

....too little time! I have so many things I want to do between now and next Monday, when I go back to work, but I really have no idea where to start, so I end up sitting on my butt surfing the web. I guess I am just overwhelmed. Since I am starting a new teaching position, I am really not sure how to prepare. I haven't even seen my classroom yet so I don't know what I need to get it set up. I don't really know what school supplies I will need, but I want to make sure I get stuff now while it is all so cheap during this back to school craze. I have a lot of friends I want to see, but I know I don't have enough time to see them all, and get done what I need to around the house. As usual, like it is at every school break, I said I was going to get more organized, and really didn't get around to doing anything to accomplish that. Well, I did pull out some old clothes from my closet, so I guess that counts.

Well, I should just get off my ass now and get something done in my house right now, instead of just sitting here rambling!

I needed that...

2005-07-27T19:27:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you just need an evening out with the girls. For me, of course, that includes my sweet little Lanie. Tonight we went out with our friends Cassy and Rylee for sushi! Cassy and I ate sushi, Rylee ate rice, and Lanie at next to nothing as usual. It is so nice just to be able to sit, relax, have some good food, and talk with someone who listens and doesn't judge. I'm so glad Lanie and I have Cassy and Rylee in our lives.
It would be a lot less interesting without them.

We have known Cassy and Rylee for about a year now. I met her on MatchingMoms.org, and we quickly discovered that our girls were born on the same day, both by c-section, because both were transverse. Cassy had just moved to the area from Oklahoma and we were both looking for playmates for our little ones. Here's a picture of the two girls at Lanie's birthday party.

Now I'm excited

2005-07-26T12:59:00.000-07:00

Well after the hell I went through at my last school, I really think things are looking up. I was really apprehensive about calling my new principal, not knowing how she felt about just having a teacher assigned to her school without her input. Well, I called this morning and she sounds wonderful. She said she was happy to hear from me and excited about having me there. Maybe South Hills is where I am meant to be. It is still quite a commute, but it is a Resource teaching position, which I am really excited about. I am so happy to be out of behavior improvement, I was just so burned out. I had also been a bit apprehensive about going into teaching a resource class, having no idea what to do, but the principal told me that I am to be the second resource teacher there, and that the current resource teacher has been there 14 years. Talk about having someone to learn the ropes from! I cannot even express in words how relieved I feel. The principal is going to call and let me know when I can move my things into my portable (yes, I have to go back to being in a portable). SHe also is going to let me know whether I will be teaching the K-2 or 3-5 grade resource students. She was going to let the current teacher have first dibs, so we'll see what I get. I will be fine with either, there are good things and bad things at each grade so I'll just have to wait and see.

Well, that's my excitement for today!

Well, I guess I need to start somewhere

2005-07-25T16:52:00.001-07:00

I decided to staart a blog of my own where I can put down my thoughts or anything I want to share. I have Alana's blog where I put things about her, but didn't have a place to put things just about me, so here it is. I'm sure there will be a lot of things about Alana here too, but most of that will be on her blog at www.alanaalexander.org

Since I returned from Norway this past Thursday I have just been so drained. On the way to Norway the time difference didn't seem to hit me so hard, but it seems I am tired all the time now and have a hard time getting really good sleep. I only have two weeks until I go back to work, so I hope I get re-aclimated fast because I have so much to do between now and then.

Today, I took Alana to her 15 month check-up, and it went pretty well. I was concerned about her lack of interest in eating, but the doctor said it was normal and says this could last for quite some time, so not to worry. Alana got three shots and she was a trooper through it all, only crying for a few seconds after the shots were given. She is on track or ahead on all of her developmental goals. The one thing I am a little worried about is that the doctor wants to see Alana off of the bottle by 18 months. Since she stopped nursing last month, Alana seems more attached to her bottle. I am trying to switch her to using some sippy cup tops on her bottles but she just doesn't like them. Just guess I had to be consistent trying to get her to use them, but I just want to make sure she still gets the fluids she needs.

After her check-up and nap, we took a walk to the store. It was so hot! I don't know how much walking I am going to be able to do with her. We walked evey day in Norway, but I don't know if either of us can handle the heat here. And, of course, it doesn't help that there aren't sidewalks here in Trophy Club either! Oh well, such is life.

I guess that's enough rambling for now.